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Spiritual Clarity in the Midst of Motherhood

April 13, 2011

I’ve often wished that God would be crystal clear with me. When there’s a difficult decision to be made, couldn’t the answer to my prayer for direction be written in the summer blue sky by a team of skywriters or delivered as a super urgent email or Twitter update.

I’m finding that instead He uses the most curious methods to get my attention. One is my now 6-year old daughter.

As most parents discover, getting everyone ready and out of the house in the morning to work and school and daycare can be one of the biggest tasks and set the tone of the day. With my husband on his way to his destination and my preparations well underway, my attention turned to waking up my slumbering blonde pre-schooler. As we dove into the morning routine, she became determined that the order and speed that I as Mom wanted things accomplished wasn’t working for her. She was going to do it her way, at her pace, no matter that we needed to be somewhere at a specific time.

In frustration that this little person was essentially refusing to cooperate, I retreated to regroup. Exasperated, I remember raising my eyes to the ceiling and asking God for a little help. Clear as a bell my thoughts changed.

“Emily, you’ve often though you could do things alone. Do things your way,” God whispered in my ear. “Do you know how many times you’ve exasperated me? But no matter what my headstrong child  – I continue to love you. Consider that as you go forward in the world and as you raise your daughter. She will be one of your best teachers.”

Tears welled up as I realized how many times I did my “own” thing or muscled my way through a situation without taking time to call on God for help. He wanted to be there to give me direction and support. While I didn’t spite Him, I didn’t lean on Him either.

And so I realized God’s love for me that hectic morning in an entirely new way. It hasn’t stopped some days from being more chaotic than I’d like, but I do stop in the midst of the chaos to thank God for opportunities to learn and grow in faith. Next time the spirit of frustration or exasperation strikes, take a moment or two with God to see if He might be trying to get your attention.

 

 

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